at family dinners
| me: | talk less, smile more |
| me: | don't let them know what you're against or what you're for |
when they whip out the dick and u realize they weren’t lying about how big it was
(Source: weloveshortvideos.com, via firedrill)
IF A CREEP WANTS YOUR NUMBER
A series of fake numbers to leave behind.
1-888-447-5594 - Easter egg number for finishing God of War, contains a dramatic speech. Personal favorite.
605-475-6968 - Rejection hotline, politely explains that whoever gave you this number turned ya down, buddy
888-276-6760 - The 24-hour Klu Klux Klanline where you can get a FREE INFORMATION BOOKLET!!!!1!
866-740-4531 - Only responds with “I am Groot”
206-569-5829 - Seattle radio station “Loser Line”. If they leave a weird voicemail, it could get broadcast over the airwaves.
Stay safe, people.
Don’t forget about 515-808-2362, the number that rings and then plays the John Cena thing.
309-889-0497 plays the evangelation theme
Evangelation
There’s also 855-523-9386 which will respond to the caller with a robot beat boxing Korn’s “Freak on a Leash”.
Who knew so many weird almost useless phone numbers existed?
This is wonderful
(via ruinedchildhood)
This is just a great picture. Look at those happy dogs!
“These are my babies!! We MADE these!!”
(via hotboyproblems)
This is just a great picture. Look at those happy dogs!
“These are my babies!! We MADE these!!”
(via hotboyproblems)
@aphrodirtyMe after using duolingo for a month
(Source: sogothimdead, via fictionbasedofftruths-deactivat)
When your parents leave you with your grandma
Noooooo 😂
not the inhaler though 😭😭
Someone needa come get they mama and they son 😂😂😂😂
LMAOO I’m grandma
Oh my gosh
I’m the grandma
(via vinebox)
When your parents leave you with your grandma
Noooooo 😂
not the inhaler though 😭😭
Someone needa come get they mama and they son 😂😂😂😂
LMAOO I’m grandma
Oh my gosh
I’m the grandma
(via vinebox)
Evolutionary Timeline by ‘Blu’ on the Streets of Italy.
(Source: sixpenceee, via sixpenceee)
i support girls anger. i support girls who yell. i support girls who get called bitches and cunts at parties because they’ll swear at guys who won’t leave them alone. i support girls who don’t believe in second chances and cut off people who hurt them. i support girls who say no the first time and flip you off if you ask them again. i support girls who will never allow themselves to be pushovers and constantly get shit for it. you’re fucking incredible.
(via odinsnotwearingmakeup)
HONESTLY I SCREAMED
Dont come for Mrs Puff like this
(Source: toxicmp3, via vinebox)
So 2016 is SO bad that it made the creator of this meme give us an alternative version of “This is Fine”.
(via potatoandotherwise-deactivated2)